In this episode, we revisit the example of CoffeZilla to learn how best to handle being accused of doing something you did not do, even if you are called a fraud.
In the previous episode, we talked about whether Coffee Zilla is a fraud and that got me thinking what do you do if someone accuses you of doing something that you haven't done or if someone calls you a con artist or a scam or a fraud and if someone starts saying negative things about you or your business, your company, your brand, etcetera, what do you do? So the wrong thing to do? The thing that you don't want to do is you don't want to get into a defensive position.
You don't want to try to defend yourself because the more you try to defend yourself, the more salient you're going to make the issue become every time you have a rebuttal it gives them an opportunity to open it back up. And the thing is however they feel they're feeling is their reality, no amount of evidence is going to change their mind because that feeling that they have, they feel comfortable in that truth and they're just going to hold on to that truth and you're trying to defend yourself. They're just going to keep asking other questions that will have to make you try to prove your worth or your word or yourself even more. And it's just going to be this never ending cycle where there really isn't any winners unless that other person is like purposely trolling, then that person is definitely winning, right? So that's what you don't want to do.
So if you don't want to do that, then obviously what you do want to do is not give that issue any light, you don't give that issue any oxygen and without oxygen, that issue will die away. So I've actually had people in my life that have essentially discounted anything that I would say because they had this feeling that I didn't know what I was talking about and when they have this feeling, no amount of words, I can talk about my degrees or I can talk about all this stuff and, and really that other person is just gonna be like, uh huh, okay. And they're just gonna nod their head and they're not listening to you because they don't want to listen to you, right? All they want to do is they want to feel comfortable and whatever their reality is and whatever the truth is.
So I'll give you an example of this. I had a family member where I would give some type of parental advice and keep in mind that I'm a single man, I don't have Children and I realized how audacious it could be for someone to give parental advice that doesn't have Children, right? But the thing is that what most people did not know is I was actually dating a woman at the time for four years And she had very young Children and I actually helped, you know, I wouldn't say that I was the father, but I definitely had my hand in helping to raise the Children from ages 3-7 and that those are very pivotal times, right?
So in terms of that experience, there's a lot that I believe I can offer. But even if I try to defend myself and try to say, hey, well I was actually in this situation, this is like what I picked up my wisdom and things like that, they're just gonna bend whatever reality they want to see and they're going to say to make themselves feel better, right? They're gonna say things like, yeah, well, I mean, okay, so you, you might have done that, but you missed out on the first three years and that those first three years, if you didn't have that, then there's no value that you can add, right?
This is what they're thinking. They're not trying to be fair to you, they're not trying to understand where you're coming from. All they're trying to do is they're just essentially trying to protect themselves. And the way they protect themselves is everyone's kind of like on danger alert, right? Everyone stranger danger. Everyone's a scam artist and a fraud. And that's the easiest thing someone can do. But when someone feels like that, trying to convince someone otherwise this is where you're going to put yourself in a very miserable situation, the best thing to do is if someone accuses you of something that you did not do or if someone calls you a fraud or a scam or a con artist, then just don't give it any light, don't give it any oxygen and it will just die out on its own. This is Robin Copernicus, boom bam. I'm out.
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