In this episode, we talk about how handling rejection changes over the course of the years.
I recently met a woman out in Tulum and when I first met her I was thinking to my head like, oh she's really pretty and I want to get to know her. So I asked for her instagram and hinted that I was interested in dating her etcetera. So we swapped Instagram accounts. I followed her, she followed me and I sent her a message the very next day and I said, hey I'm doing this activity with a group of friends, would you like to come to join us? So she replied, yeah, she wants to join but she can't because she has work.
So I asked her what is a better time when you don't have work? And she gave me some days. So on those days, I suggested meeting up for dinner and this was like like I'm doing a bunch of group things right now, so I think it's more fun in a group and I actually enjoy those kinds of first date moments where you're more of in a group setting because it's just so laid back and it feels more comfortable. So anyways I invited her to this group setting and in the DM. She responded, "Hey I will I will try to come, I promise".
But the way she said it she didn't ask for any details or anything like that. So it's like super obvious at least to me that you know like 100 she's not coming. And I said this to a friend because we're trying to make dinner plans and wondering how many people we would have for a reservation. So I mentioned yeah I don't think she's coming. Um based on the type of response you gave me and my friend was like oh that must hurt. Like rejection sucks and I haven't even thought about it that way.
So I think when I was younger rejection did hurt. And as you get older and as you start getting more or as you start receiving more and more rejections, I think you start building up a tolerance for it and the tolerance is good because one if you are getting rejected, this is a good thing because this means that you are stepping outside of your bounds. You're trying outside of your league and this is, this is a really good thing because you're going to learn exactly what it takes to do that as long as you have the proper mindset where you don't view it as straight out rejection, then I think it's going to really help you in your game.
So the way that I view rejection, if I'm trying to shoot my shot, for example with a woman, sometimes you're going to get blocked, not every shot is going to go through. It doesn't matter how good of a basketball player you are. You can be Michael Jordan or I don't know about Lebron James, but you could be once in a while, someone is going to block your shot is going to happen. You're going to get rejected. And the thing is, you can't just dwell on that one piece of rejection. It's just the way to think about it is it's just a split-second rejection you got blocked but continue to play the game. There's still a chance that you will, you know, score a bunch of baskets and could even win.
What I found is when you get rejected, whenever a door closes on you or a window of opportunity closes on you. A much bigger door, a much bigger window is waiting for you to open it every time that I felt like I was unhappy because I couldn't get into a situation that I was in. There was actually a very good reason for this. And one of the things about rejection is sometimes, so there's many different types of rejection, right? So earlier I just talked about what rejection is like in a dating situation, but you can also be rejected from your careers. And one of the things that I found is if you are not landing an interview and you're not able to get into the company that you want to get into, maybe there's a reason for that, maybe you actually don't belong there because if you did belong there, you probably would have a lot of friends that already worked there. You fit the culture, they would have been able to bring you into the company and it probably would have been a happy situation for you.
But if you're applying somewhere and just you're applying just because it's like a prestigious label or prestigious company, but you don't really know too many people in the company or you don't even know much about the company culture, like the real company culture, not the one that they just advertise then that that company might not be for you. And what it will do is it will give you an opportunity for you to get into a company that is right for you. If you don't fit the company culture, you're probably not going to be happy. And when they are assessing you for the company, they're not rejecting you as a person there. If they are rejecting you, they're rejecting the fit. They want someone that they want to be able to hang out with, that they can be friends with and you might think that you might want to hang out with them, but you don't really know right until you actually do hang out with them. And if you are trying to get a job in one of those things instead of applying, like my advice would be to actually go and start making these friends and try to get involved in the company culture and they will bring you in. So in summary rejection is actually a good thing. I think it opens up a lot of opportunities, you can't let it get you down, having the mindset that you just got rejected and that you're not worthy enough.
This is not a good mindset to have. So this is actually the final thing that I will mention in this podcast before I closeout. The way you view rejection is also super important for me back to a dating situation, let's say um let's bring this one example up again where I.D. and this girl she was very she's being very vague, she didn't ask for any specific, she's like yeah I'll try to calm I promise. And it kind of felt like she was just brushing me off. So for that to me, it doesn't feel like rejection to me. I don't feel like there's anything wrong with me, I don't feel like she's rejecting me because of me. The way that I actually feel about this is there's something wrong with her. She doesn't know how to communicate with people, she doesn't know how to make decisions, she doesn't know how to be assertive and because she's dealing with her own issues and own problems, she's behaving in this way.
But the way she's behaving has nothing to do with me has nothing to do with my character etcetera. It's really just you know sometimes shitty people in the world exists and as long as you understand that, you know, you shouldn't feel like you're being rejected or its rejection, it just could possibly be that this other person is just a very shitty person. Same thing with the job. If you get rejected from a job that might be a good thing to it could possibly be that it's just a very shitty job for you. It's not a good job for you. I hope this helps you in dealing with rejection. It doesn't, for me it doesn't really feel like rejection, it's just an opportunity for you to move and get to the next step right. It's like going through this maze and you're gonna come across some dead ends once in a while. But then as soon as you come across those dead ends, you know that mark those off your list and say, I will never come back this right again and you go towards a winning situation. So anytime you do get rejected, just remember that there's always someone better. This was Robin Copernicus. Boom, bam, I'm out.
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